Category Archives: Editorial

Editorial | Editing 101: “How to… edit without losing the writer’s voice”

In honor of the six month anniversary (birthday?) of Therefore I Geek, I would like to present some “how to” tips for editors.  I especially want to stress correcting grammar and syntax without losing the original writer’s voice.

The first time I was presented with a request for editing (it was a friend’s high school paper), I ripped into it.  With a red pen I circled phrases that I felt belonged in a different spot and drew arrows to where I thought they should go.  I struck through whole paragraphs and drew question marks over the original writing.  Ordinary punctuation and spelling errors were the fewest of my corrections.  My friend rewrote his entire paper in my image, and I thought it was good.  It was good.  He got an A.  However, the paper wasn’t actually his by that point:  it was mine.

I’ve learned, through trial and error, that there is a way to edit that doesn’t involve inserting my voice into a piece by someone else.  After all, if I had wanted to write it, I would have.  There have been moments when a writer and I have pounded our fists on the table and glared at each other in a disagreement over the best turn of phrase.  This is somewhat ridiculous, and can be easily avoided.

So how does one edit a piece to be the best it can be, without losing the author’s style?  It is always a good idea to keep in mind the overall tone of the piece of writing.  A research paper will have a very different quality from a blog post.  Blog posts are informal, and a writer can get away with a lot of casual and dialectic grammar that would otherwise meet with disapproval.

The editing process starts with a basic edit for simple grammar changes.  Then, a thorough read-through will make the areas which need work clear.  Sometimes, sentences sound too similar, and need to be re-worded.  Rather than changing the sound of the sentence, it is better to simply rearrange the author’s words to give the sentence a different cadence.  For instance, if there have been several sentences in a row that begin with a counter-factual clause and end with a factual one, switch the two.

Example:  It is easy to believe that an editor should insert their own style into a sentence, but it is preferable to leave the author’s choice of words intact.

Corrected:  It is preferable to leave the author’s choice of words intact, even though editors may find it easier to insert their own style into the sentence.

This does not mean that it is wrong to cut out redundant sentences, or to consolidate multiple weak sentences into one strong, cohesive sentence.  It is merely important that the author not get lost in the editing.

Next, it is a good idea to check for weak wording.  Many writers are trying get the thoughts in their heads down on paper as quickly as possible.  If they cannot think of the correct noun or verb, it is easier to just use banal phrases as place holders, so they can move on to the next thought before it is lost.  A good editor will point these out to the author for replacement.  Over the course of their relationship, the editor may know the correct word, and simply replace it in the sentence and move on.  If the entire phrase or sentence is trite, however, it may be in the best interests of having a singly voiced piece to just mark the phrase as awkward, or needing to be re-written.  The author can then make the choice of wording.

Sometimes the best advice that an editor can give to the writer is to erase what he’s written and start again.  If the editor is confused, the audience will also be confused.  I’ve often found, under these circumstances, that I can work with the writer to improve whole pages.  When we work together, it is more likely that the writer’s work will sound like it belongs to him, and not to me.

A good working relationship between a writer and an editor means that the writer’s voice is not lost during the editing process.  As the great poet Anonymous once said, “There is no such thing as good writing, only good re-writing.”

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Filed under Editing 101, Editorial, Tracy Gronewold

Editorial | Review: The Book of Revelation

I have enough of a Christian background to be rather skeptical of any new translations of Biblical Scripture.  I’ve also never really believed that comics and the Bible mix well.  I was proven wrong at Comic Con this year by (of all people) a Greek Orthodox priest.

The language flows like poetry AND is easy to read.

The language flows like poetry AND is easy to read.

While I wasn’t excited about a graphic novel of the Bible, I AM always excited by words and language.  Father Mark Arey was so excited to talk about his translation work on this project that I could not help catching his enthusiasm.  This past weekend, for the first, time, I was actually able to sit down and read The Book of Revelation, as translated by Mark Arey and Philemon Sevastiades, and illustrated by Chris Koelle.

The first thing that hits the reader about this graphic novel is that the language is updated to current English.  The oft maligned thee’s and thou’s are replaced by you and the modern are replaces the archaic art.  However, I was pleased to realize that the English used is proper, and the style fits the content beautifully.  Behold as an exclamation still exists here.  The flow is reminiscent of the original King James Version of the Bible, but slightly easier to read.

Certain words have been more correctly translated from the Greek, also.  As with anything, an understanding of history must come into how the reader perceives any text from ages past.  King James of England was, of course, the head of the Anglican Church, which had split from the Catholic church under Henry VIII.  Therefore, a word which would have been most accurately translated priest was instead translated as elder in the KJV.  In this volume, it has merely been transposed into English characters as presbyter, which is easily understood by most English readers.

The illustrations support the text (and are really beautiful on their own).

The illustrations support the text (and are really beautiful on their own).

The prose is poetic, and beautiful.  I would say that it didn’t even need illustration, except that the illustrations in this novel are gorgeous.  Each panel illustrates roughly the amount of text that would be a verse or two in a normal Bible.  The pictures depict just enough to fire up the imagination of the reader, and direct it to shape the words into a comprehendible context.  As someone who has studied the Bible extensively in days gone by, I appreciate this, because many of the concepts in the book of Revelation are simply too complex to ever be properly pictured.

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Gorgeous images of complicated ideas.

To fans of the Bible, I would say read this book for the beautiful translation of Scriptural texts, and stay for the stunning artwork.  To fans of comics and graphic novels, I say open this book for mind blowing visuals, and let the poetry of the words sweep you away.

If I have a fault with this book, it is that the colors are very limited.  After speaking to Father Arey, I do understand that this was on purpose to avoid taking away from the text, but I would have loved to see some of the full page images in full color!

I would love to see this image in full color.

I would love to see this image in full color.

In our rating system, I would give this book a four and a half out of five Death Stars, and would encourage anyone to read it.

4.5 Death Stars

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Filed under Comic Reviews, Comics, Editorial, Tracy Gronewold

Editorial | To My Geeky Ladies…

Over the past six months with the blog (has it really been six months?!) I’ve spent quite a bit of time traveling to various geek events and mingling with other geeks in large groups.  I thoroughly enjoy my interactions with my fellow geeks, but there are a few things I want to point out, especially to the ladies of geekdom.  Many geek females complain that they are not taken seriously, or that they are downright degraded by other (often male) geeks.  Unfortunately, a woman has no true power over the choices or responses that others make toward her—only her own reaction.  To make the geek world a better place for herself and other geek women, I say to her, “Respect your physical health; respect your mental health; and respect your appearance.”

Respecting one’s physical health can be tough for a woman whose job AND recreation of choice are pretty stationary.  Both Andrew and I will be the first geeks to tell anyone that we could use a little more exercise a little more often.  Unfortunately, a vibrating X-Box controller is not a substitute for a Shake Weight™.  Many studies have proclaimed the benefits of just half an hour of walking per day to boost energy, metabolism, and even a positive outlook.  It is easy to take some time on a break at work, or perhaps just before or just after—before starting a Star Trek marathon on Netflix.

Looking good doesn’t require conforming to ridiculous standards of female beauty.

Respecting one’s mental health is a little bit more difficult.  Specifically, I often see and hear from geek women who hear negativity and really take it to heart.  They are upset that anyone would feel enough hate to actually say something out loud—and rightfully so.  However, my advice is to let the frustration go.  The only emotions anyone is responsible to change are their own.  Learning to live life happily regardless of what other people think is the first step to true personal freedom.

Lastly, but perhaps most importantly, respect your appearance.  I’m not telling women to starve themselves to be skinny, or wear extensive amounts of makeup, but there is a distinct line between attempting to adhere to silly ideas of female beauty, and just not looking like a slob.  For this, I offer the following tips:

  • Please bathe regularly.  This seems like an understood, but I have been forced to sit next to multiple women who smelled bad enough to put me off my feed for a while.  This is just basic courtesy to others, and also falls under the first category of respecting your physical health.

    I love the sentiment… the color scheme, not so much.

  • Double check those faded t-shirts.  I’m not sure why, but the favored color for t-shirts proclaiming fandom of almost anything is that bizarre camel brown, with dark brown words/pictures (or sometimes the reverse).  Sadly, there are very few people on whom this actually looks good.  Here is a great website for determining which colors will actually compliment your natural skin tones and eye/hair color. 
  • While I’m on the subject of faded t-shirts:  if your clothing has faded from the wash, or is shrunken or stretched with age, it’s time for it to retire.  I have a fabulous shirt with a Lord of the Rings style riddle that I adore, but it is no longer acceptable for public wear.
  • Dress for the occasion.  There is no need to wear a little black dress to a comic convention or trivia night at the local dive.  By the same token, jeans and a t-shirt (although my very favorite outfit) are also not always acceptable forms of dress.  Pajamas are never acceptable for wearing in public.
  • Dress according to your body type.  Certain women will always look good in sheath dresses, but many others look much better in an a-line.  Spend some time getting to know different styles, and how they should be worn.  Unfortunately, all body types are not the same.  Something that looks good on a comic book character or an actress will not necessarily complement every woman’s shape.  Choose the clothing that looks best on you.
  • Never underestimate the power of looking good to change how you feel about yourself and how others treat you.  It isn’t always fair, but it is true.

So why should you respect yourself enough to take care of your physical abilities, mental health, and appearance?  Quite honestly, it is because no one else will do it for you.  As geeks, we tend to focus entirely on cranial capacity—and while I firmly believe that is an incredibly important focus, I also believe that appearance and outlook also matter.  Ladies of Geekdom, take care of yourselves!!  You’ll gain a new appreciation for yourself and others will too.

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Editorial | Review: Angry Birds Star Wars II

This past week I have discovered the new Angry Birds Star Wars II game, which is based on the prequel Star Wars movies.  There are a lot of cool, new features on this game that I have not seen on previous Angry Birds games.  Here is a quick review to get you started.

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Mapping sequences are prettier AND collecting a map in certain levels gives the player bonus levels.

First of all, this game is visually far more appealing than any previous Angry Birds game (and I have played them all—I’m mildly obsessed).  This is saying quite a bit, because I found the Angry Birds Rio game to be bright and fun.  The mapping sequences in between levels are now actually shown through animation each time the player completes a level, which makes it easier to feel a sense of accomplishment.  In previous versions of the game, a player could work through an entire map of fifteen levels without realizing how far they had gotten.

The individual levels also feature stunning graphics.  The original Star Wars Angry Birds game took place primarily in space and was dark, and sometimes boring.  The levels released so far in this edition all take place on planets, and the scenery really is beautiful.

Angry Birds kept one of the innovations from the first Star Wars game, which I feel had been a big improvement:  visible paths for birds before they are actually fired.  Since firing birds from a slingshot in space can be tricky business—especially considering magnetic and gravitational fields—this is very helpful.

As the player earns points, they can purchase "replacement" birds to help with difficult levels.

As the player earns points, they can purchase “replacement” birds to help with difficult levels.

The talents of some of the various birds available have been reinvented, which is a lot of fun.  For instance, at a quick tap of the screen, the Jar-Jar Binks character shoots out a long sticky tongue to grab hold of either a fixed object in order to swing out and hit something, or a moveable object to drag it with the force of the bird’s inertia through the air.  I have to admit that it has taken me several tries to perfect using this character.

Also, the Yoda character now spins like a… well, like a tiny green Jedi.  At a tap, he will spin violently, and bounce off objects to quickly take out whole sections of evil, Sith-pigs.

Care to join the Pork Side, young Jedi?

Care to join the Pork Side, young Jedi?

Perhaps my favorite innovation, however, is the fact that a player can now choose whether to play as a Jedi bird, or as a Pork Side pig.  After playing through two or three levels as a Jedi, the game will prompt the player to decide if they would like to continue using the Force for good, or whether they would like to go to the Dark Side.  Fortunately, unlike Anakin’s choice, the player’s decision need not be permanent, as the player can choose either side of the Force at any time from the main menu.

Alternate levels to play, once the maps have been exhausted.

Alternate levels to play, once the maps have been exhausted.

Once the two maps that are currently available have been completed from both the Jedi and Pork Side perspectives, players can also go to another screen and choose individual levels with only one type of bird.  This is a really nice way for the Angry Birds team to ensure that players have plenty to work on while they wait for the next few maps to be released.

The game has me completely addicted at this point.  I definitely recommend it to any fan of Angry Birds OR Star Wars.  It’s a great time filler for just about anywhere—just avoid being obvious about playing it in Economics class… not that I know from personal experience!Screenshot_2013-10-17-16-29-35

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Filed under Editorial, Game Reviews, Gaming, Tracy Gronewold