Category Archives: Andrew Hales

Review: Army of Darkness

army-of-darkness-movie-poster-1993-1020170568

All right you primitive screw heads, listen up.  We’re reviewing Army of Darkness.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Army of Darkness, let’s get you up to speed real quick.  Army of Darkness is the third and best installment of the Evil Dead series.  Ash, played by Bruce Campbell, lived a pretty good life, working in housewares at S-mart (“Shop smart, shop S-mart”), until he and his girlfriend Linda went to a cabin in the woods for the weekend.  Unluckily for them, the cabin was being used by an archaeologist who was trying to translate the Necronomicon.  The happy couple then accidentally released some evil spirit into the world.  It possessed Linda and Ash’s hand forcing Ash to kill his girlfriend and cut off his own hand with a chainsaw. Eventually Ash gets sucked into a portal and thrown back into the year 1300, which is where Army of Darkness opens on our hero.

Ash is quickly captured by Lord Arthur, and taken back to Arthur’s castle.  There he gets to show off his technology (“This is my boomstick”). Soon it is discovered that Ash is the Chosen One and must go get the very same Necronomicon that sent him back in time.  All he has to do is go to a cemetery, say the magic phrase “Klaatu barada nikto” (bonus points if you know where this originates), and grab the book.  Of course, he screws up the phrase and ends up releasing the undead Deadite army.  Ash returns to the castle with the book and helps its inhabitants prepare for the inevitable invasion.  After a hard fought battle, the living are victorious and Ash is sent back either to the present or the far distant future, depending on the version of the film you watch (my copy has him going home).

Things do not always go well for Ash.

Things do not always go well for Ash.

I am certain there was a point where the director and producer were trying to make a serious movie, but that went out the window pretty quickly.  From that point on it’s a comedy, with a few horror elements mixed in.

Bruce Campbell’s character absolutely makes this movie. Campbell plays the cheesy and not too bright Ash perfectly.   It takes less than ten minutes for Ash to begin spouting his infamous one-liners.  He is just confident enough to get himself into trouble and not realize how deep in he really is. Ash is a little like Indiana Jones, but not nearly as clever.

This is his boomstick.

This is his boomstick.

The supporting cast is not terrible, filled with several B-list names whose performances don’t really stand out. I can’t say I blame them though, since they weren’t give a whole lot to work with. The whole movie is basically about Ash and the extra characters often just stand there to give him someone to talk to, when he isn’t just talking to himself. One cast member who is a personal favorite of mine is Ted Raimi, brother of director Sam Raimi. He has a short appearance in the alternate ending and as a Seaquest DSV fan, I’m  always glad to see him on screen.

There is a certain look to this film that B movie fans will recognize almost immediately.  While not all of De Laurentiis’ films have this look, there are a number, like Conan the Barbarian, Red Sonja, and Barbarella that do. The effects are cheap and simple but effective.  In one scene where Ash fights a group of miniature Ash-es, the effects team uses old school tricks such as filming actors in front of a projected image to accomplish the shots they need. Another example is the Deadite army, which is a mixture of skeleton puppets and guys in spandex suits. The more impressive puppets are in the front of the shot and the costumed men are used where it would be impractical to have a puppet—such as running across the background of a shot.  Most of the other effects stick to basic explosives and ordinary fire, but this doesn’t detract from the visual.

The Deadite Army

The Deadite Army

The biggest problem with the movie is the painful dialogue.  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the one-liners, but these are pretty groan worthy, and they provide the only decent part of the script.  Trying to speak in fourteenth century English makes most of the characters seem wooden and slow.  The most annoying character, though, is Ash’s full grown duplicate, whose dialogue just gets on my nerves.  Although also delivered by Campbell, the lines are just so much more over the top and goofy that they have a way of getting under my skin.

This is one of the movies I love to quote, especially right after watching it. It’s also one of the movies that has cemented Bruce Campbell’s place as the king of B movies (“Hail to the king, baby”). I give this one four and a half Death Stars.

4.5 Death Stars

Now give me some sugar.

2 Comments

Filed under Andrew Hales, Movie Reviews, Movies

Review: I, Frankenstein *Spoiler Alert*

***** SPOILER ALERT *****

This review will be discussing plot points which may be considered spoilers. Consider yourselves warned.

file_177013_1_i-frankenstein-final

In the summer of 1816, a young Mary Shelley began writing what would become Frankenstein. Since it was published in 1818, that revolutionary novel has become the inspiration for countless other works including over a dozen films. The most recent of those movies is I, Frankenstein, based on the graphic novel of the same name. While I, Frankenstein may not be the best of the movies inspired by Shelley, it is by no means the worst and makes for a fun afternoon at the cinema.

I, Frankenstein picks up shortly after Mary Shelley leaves off, with the monster (Aaron Eckhart) returning to bury Victor Frankenstein in the Frankenstein family grave yard. As he is shoveling the dirt over Victor, the monster is attacked by unknown aggressors. These aggressors make mention of someone named Naberius, who–ominously–wants the monster alive.  The monster fights back and is rescued by a pair of gargoyles, who apparently exist on earth to fight demons of the type that had just attempted to carry him off. Now the monster is unwillingly pulled into a war between the demons who attacked him and the gargoyles.

Several quick scenes later the gargoyle queen Leonore (Miranda Otto) has named the monster Adam and he has gone back into hiding. The movie skips ahead two hundred years, the demons have come looking for him, and Adam has decided to come back to the civilized world and rid himself of this threat. Through several twists and turns the audience has come to find out the demon prince Naberius (Bill Nighy) wants to create an army of soulless, reanimated human bodies like Adam so he can bring back all the demons that the gargoyles have banished over the centuries.

Over all the movie isn’t bad. The casting choices are the brightest parts of this movie. Aaron Eckhart plays the reluctant protagonist very well. While his portrayal of Adam is reminiscent of the tormented Two Face in The Dark Knight, there are significant differences in the two characters. I was especially pleased with Eckhart’s physicality through the whole movie. There were plenty of fight scenes and Eckhart held his own. While he might not be the size of the traditional Frankenstein’s monster, the size difference never bothered me.

Aaron Eckhart as Adam.

Aaron Eckhart as Adam.

It was also nice to see Miranda Otto back on screen. Most movie goers would recognize Otto as Eowyn from The Lord of the Rings. She did a pretty good job as the gargoyle queen. This time around she had a much more regal bearing than she did as Eowyn, which is fitting given her character’s status. Bill Nighy was an adequate villain; unfortunately, he always plays the same character and after a few movies it gets redundant.

The movie runs ninety-two minutes but it certainly didn’t feel like it. The action starts within the first couple minutes of the movie and doesn’t let up for more than a minute or two until just before the credits roll. The plot was predictable at times, but not disappointingly so. At one point the gargoyles turn on Adam and begin to hunt him in hopes of destroying him so that Naberius can’t get Adam. This was a pretty obvious plot device and I saw it coming way in advance.

I am still a bit confused by the whole demon and gargoyle war.  There may have been more backstory and explanation in the graphic novel on which this movie was based, but if so, it didn’t make it past the cutting room floor. While I applaud the film makers for not going with the stereotypical angels vs. demons, the gargoyles really were just a stand in for angels, only slightly less powerful. Throughout the movie I was consistently impressed with the incorporation of original Frankenstein story elements. Sure some things had to be changed to make the plot work, but it was never the major details and the creators were otherwise surprisingly faithful.

The dialogue was perhaps the component of this movie that moved the slowest and dragged the other pieces down.  Sure, the word “shall” sounds wonderful in Elizabethan era plays, but “will” is a perfectly good stand in, and probably should have been used more liberally in this movie.  I also took issue with Queen Leonore’s declaration at the beginning of the film, “God is no longer the only one who can make man.”  Statements like this came across as stilted and a little campy.

Visually the movie was clearly spawned from the Underworld creators.  It could have easily been set in the same universe. The sets were huge and impressive.  Overall the feeling was one of decaying grandeur.  Most of the movie takes place at night, so everything is dark.  The cathedral of the gargoyles is absolutely gorgeous and seems to be based on the gothic cathedrals of France—most likely Notre Dame.  In the alleys of the Parisian style city, water seems to always be dripping and puddles seem to be a structural inevitability.  The lab in which the female lead, Dr. Terra Wade, is attempting to create life seems normal until it becomes obvious that the ceiling is perhaps forty feet above her head.  The evil Dr. Molokai’s lair, filled with 10,000 human corpses waiting to be inhabited by demon spirits, is much larger, and also resonates with dripping.  I was slightly annoyed that the city in which the story takes place was never actually named. Based on the number of abandoned buildings, I’m forced to assume it all takes place in Newark, New Jersey.

This could easily have been a filming location.

This could easily have been a filming location.

The cinematography of this movie was nothing special.  There were some great camera shots and effects, but at times the whole movie had cheap feeling. I have a hard time putting my finger on it, but it reminds me a lot of old episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation that were shot on video tapes. That soft focus that was the best they could do with the technology they had available. Unfortunately that is not the same technology that we have today, and there is no good reason for this look.

I, Frankenstein makes for a good popcorn flick. Unless you have the undying urge to go see this in the theatre, you can wait to see it on DVD. I enjoyed myself and I give it three Death Stars.  Tracy gives it four Death Stars, so the average of the two of us is Therefore I Geek’s rating of three and a half Death Stars.  I’m also going to make a point of finding the graphic novel and getting better acquainted with it.3.5 Death Stars

Leave a comment

Filed under Andrew Hales, Movie Reviews, Movies

MarsCon: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

There are few things more fun than spending a weekend at a local geek event.  That is just what Therefore I Geek did this past weekend at MarsCon in Williamsburg, VA.  Here is the good, the bad, and the ugly about this convention:

The Good

There was a lot of good at MarsCon. Being a local event makes it much more manageable and relaxed than other, larger events such as NYCC.

One of the first things we did was check out the gaming area and pretty quickly got pulled into a game called Quickfire.  Quickfire is a universal tabletop miniature game, meaning that it doesn’t matter what miniature game pieces the players use. The simple rules can get a game going for any number of players in no time. As players go through the game, there are progressively more difficult environmental challenges that appear. There are two major drawback to the game:  the need for a GM-esqe person and the high risk of the game dissolving into complete chaos. These issues were only minor, though, and the overall game play was enjoyable.

This was an epic game table, the kind I'd only dreamed of.

This was an epic game table, the kind I’ve only dreamed of.

MarsCon also had several good panels, which in my experience is a rarity at local conventions.  On Sunday morning I attended a panel on editors and their changing role at someone’s (*cough*Tracy*cough*) urging and it was a fantastic panel. Of the four panelists, two were editors, one was a writer, and one did both.  Will McIntosh, Carrie Ryan, Edmund Schubert and Laura Haywood-Cory, along with a moderator Michael Pederson, who also happened to be an editor, were intimately familiar with the subject they were discussing and it showed.   This is the kind of panel I want to attend all the time. It was engaging, informative and stacked with experts.

Sunday afternoon I went to “Cult Film: The Atomic 50’s: When Supernatural Horror Went Scientific”, a panel on the scientific turn that B movies took in the 1950’s, which was also amazing. There was so much useful information in this panel. While I am uncertain about the presenter’s credentials, he was incredibly knowledgeable and was so passionate that it was easy to get caught up in his excitement. This was also one of the few panels in which the audience participation was value added. Many of them had seen the movies in question and were able to jump in when the presenter forgot a character or actor, but then quieted down when he started speaking again.

[Tracy:  While I sent Andrew off to learn about how much respect and reverence he should have for his editor, I went to a panel called “Beyond the Strong Female Protagonist:  Writing Women who are more than ‘Kickass.”  I really enjoy this type of discussion anyway, so I was excited to get into it.  The panelists were all writers and were led by Jim Hines, author of the Magic Ex Libris series.  I enjoyed the conversation and appreciated that the panelists kept order in the room—even shutting down a particularly opinionated fan who attempted to hijack the panel several times.]

999141_10201500476689630_260609782_n

(from left) Meriah Crawford, Jim Hines, Alethea Kontis, L. Jagi Lamplighter, and John C. Wright

Of course any event with Mikey Mason is always a blast. Mikey gave us a nice mix of his better known material, plus a couple of songs from his most recent album. If his Facebook page is to be believed, and I think it is, then he wrote a whole new album while he was at MarsCon!

Mikey Mason

Mikey Mason

Aside from his duties as entertainer, Mikey was both the best auctioneer and gave the best “Vanna White” impression while working the charity auction for the Heritage Humane Society of Williamsburg.  In the end they managed to break last year’s total on just two items. I wish you all could have seen the look on the face of the liason to the  Humane Society. He kept getting more and more excited as the auction bids grew.  By the end, he looked absolutely stunned. (T:  Can confirm.  It was adorable!)

The Bad

No convention is perfect and MarsCon was no exception.  Mikey’s concert had an hour of scheduled setup time but it was still forty-five minutes late starting due to “technical difficulties”. We can all understand some minor glitches—lord knows I’ve seen them at NYCC—but a delay of this length due to problems with fundamental things like lighting and sound is not acceptable. I was surprised to see a venue as experienced as this one having issues like this, especially with an artist like Mikey who has a very simple, straightforward setup.  Speaking from experience, the rig should have been set up before hand and then just moved into place.

Also, I’ve never been particularly thrilled with events held in hotels. Typically they don’t have large rooms that can serve as a proper exhibit halls. Dealer rooms have to be squeezed into small rooms and tend to spill out into the hallways which leads to traffic flow problems. While that wasn’t an overwhelming issue in the Fort Magruder Hotel & Conference Center, another hundred or so additional people in attendance might have made it much more of a problem. The positive side of the hotel is that it had proper spaces for panels, which other conventions (such as the VA Comicon) do not have.

The Ugly

I’ve mentioned that the panels I went to on Sunday were amazing.  Saturday panels were, unfortunately, the complete opposite.  In a panel about the “Dark Side of Disney,” panelists started off by asking the audience what the panel was about. It was immediately obvious that the panelists were almost completely unprepared for the topic about which they were supposed to be speaking. One panelist had no specific knowledge on the topic outside of a couple of Google searches and a discussion with her friends.   She spent most of her time trying to convince the audience and other panelists that there was a prevalence of mental illnesses in Disney films. I’d love to know what made her think that a Google search provided adequate expertise to diagnose and discuss mental illness.  At one point another panelist actually cut her off because she obviously didn’t understand what she was talking about.  Needless to say, we bailed out of this particular panel pretty quickly

In a later panel on cosplay, the panelists were significantly better informed, the least experienced having done it for seventeen years, but they were unable to keep the panel on track. I have no problem with audience interaction during a panel.  Especially at an event as small as this it’s a great chance to have a more intimate experience with the panelists.  Having said that, the panelists are the experts.  Attendees want to hear what they have to say, not opinions from the other audience members. This panel would have benefited greatly from a strong moderator with firm control of the room. A good moderator should ask some basic questions, get the panelists discussing the topic and then towards the end take some questions from the audience.

In the end we had a great weekend and I’ve got some great ideas for new content, so keep your eyes open for it. MarsCon will definitely be making an appearance on my 2015 calendar.

3 Comments

Filed under Andrew Hales, Events

Oscar Picks: A Conversation

The list of nominations for the 2014 Academy Awards was released yesterday, so Andrew and I decided to make it into a game.  We originally thought about gambling for pennies, but have now come up with a ridiculously complex system of points by which one of us will be named the winner (ok, it isn’t that complex).  Below is a transcript of our Oscar conversation, slightly edited for content and brevity. -t

Best Actor Leading Role

A. Christian Bale, because of his epic beer gut that is on display in several scenes.  It’s disturbing but Oscar worthy

T. Chiwetel Ejiofor for 12 Years a Slave.  Oscars eat that stuff up.  (I’m also really excited to see an actor from Serenity nominated for anything at all!)

His beer belly has a personality all its own.

Actor in Supporting Role

A. Jonah Hill.  The Wolf of Wall Street as a whole is sooo crazy.  The potential for him to walk with the Oscar is high

T. Jared Leto because he’s a rock star!

Actress in a Leading Role

A. Sandra Bullock because of the torture she put herself through for that movie.

T. Meryl Streep.  The line about Julia Roberts looking like a lesbian was hilarious to me.  Apparently, she also has the record for most Academy Award Nominations.

Actress in a Supporting Role

A. Jennifer Lawrence.  She doesn’t deserve it, but she will get it.

T. Jennifer Lawrence.  For the same reason, but I’m mad that Andrew said it first.

But she IS smoking hot.

Animated Feature Films

A. Despicable Me 2.  It wasn’t amazing, but of the choices, it was the funniest.  Minions:  that’s all that needs to be said.

T. The Wind Rises.  Miyazaki said that this will be his last film and I think the Oscars will want this brilliant creator to go out with a bang.

Cinematography

A. Gravity.  As crazy as that movie was, it has to be Gravity.

T. Gravity.  It was beautiful and there was little action to take away from the gorgeous shots of space.

Costume Design

A. American Hustle—not for the lack of bras, but because of the god-awful vintage clothes and decor that made me think, “Oh no!  Oh god, this WAS the seventies.”

T. The Great Gatsby.  The costumes were absolutely stunning, over-the-top, and larger than life (sorry for the redundancy).  I absolutely loved the clothing.

Directing

A. 12 Years a Slave.  If this guy wins, he’ll be the first African American to win best director, and with Scorsese being out of the picture (no pun intended) on Oscar principle, I think this is an opportunity too good for the Awards to pass up.

T. I’m going to go with American Hustle for this.  I think that the Oscars want to give this movie a top honor, but I think other movies will beat it out in other categories.

Steve McQueen (far right) would be the first African American director to win an Academy Award.

Documentary Feature

A. 20 Feet From Stardom, because I want to know what the hell “nominees to be determined” means.  Do we not know who made the movie?  Did we not watch the movie, but we’re voting on it?  Were there only five documentaries this year and all five were nominated?

T. The Act of Killing.  I don’t know why, but I’m drawn to that name.

Documentary Shorts

A. Prison Terminal, because the magic eight ball said so

T. Facing Fear, because the Oscars love anything by a Cohen

Film Editing

A. Gravity

T.  I’m going with Gravity also.  Andrew, stop stealing my picks.

Foreign Language Film

A. The Missing Picture, because I was unaware that Cambodia was making movies.  I’m glad to see they’ve moved beyond killing, but this is still a disturbing development.

T.  I don’t see any French movies.  How am I supposed to pick if there isn’t a French movie?  I guess I’ll go with Italy.  Which movie was made in Italy?  Oh, The Great Beauty.  Of course.

No punchline necessary.

**We considered for a while, and decided not to recognize or NOT recognize Palestine as a country.  Therefore I Geek will take a stance on many things, but the Middle East peace process is not one of them.

Makeup and Hair-Styling

A. Really?  Only three in this category?  Fine.  Since they half-assed it, so will I.  I’m going with Jackass.

T. The Lone Ranger, because it required more makeup on Johnny Depp alone than in the other two nominees combined.

Music (original score)

A. John Williams for The Book Thief.  It’s always classical music from him.  No way to go wrong with that.

T. Thomas Newman, Saving Mr. Banks.  I even commented on the score after I got out of the movie.  It was perfectly matched to the mood onscreen.

Music (original song)

A. “Happy” from Despicable Me 2 because I’ve seen the movie.  I don’t actually remember the song, though.

T. I haven’t seen Despicable Me 2, but I did hear the song “Happy” and I really like it.  So I’m going with that one.

Best Picture

A. I refuse to vote for Nebraska, because when it came out every other interview on NPR was about the movie, and I was tired of it before it even hit theaters.  I’m going with 12 Years a Slave.  It’s been making a lot of waves

T. How in the world is Megan Ellison nominated as a producer twice?  She produced American Hustle AND Her.  She basically has twice the likelihood of winning.  Just for that, I’m going with 12 Years a Slave.

Production Design

A. Great Gatsby.  They nailed that art deco.

T. Great Gatsby.  I saw the work they had to do behind the scenes… Everything was on green screen; it was phenomenal.

The top is the final scene; the bottom is the same scene before CGI.

Short Film (animated)

**We considered taking a break at this point and watching all the short films, but after realizing that they probably aren’t that short and also that it might take us a couple of days to find them, we changed our minds.

A. I’m voting for Get a Horse! because it is an imperative sentence.

T. Room on the Broom, because you know exactly what it is about from the title.  The whole plot is spelled out in that phrase.

**We lost our place at this point and completely skipped the next category… but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway since neither of us have seen any of the nominated films.  Obviously, we came back to it later.

Short Film (live action)

A.  I vote for the completely unpronounceable one because I want to see them try to pronounce it; especially if it’s a particularly stupid presenter.

T.  While I applaud Andrew’s solid method of choosing a candidate, I’m going to pick Helium, because in my head it is about a very annoying young child whose mother gives him too many balloons at a fair and he floats away, never to be seen again.

Sound Editing

A. I want to know what the difference is between sound editing and sound mixing…  I’m just gonna say The Hobbit because I don’t care anymore.

T.  I think that I will pick The Hobbit for one of these sound ones and Lone Survivor for the other one.  Heads for The Hobbit, tails for Lone Survivor. (Andrew flips)  He says it’s heads, so The Hobbit.

Sound Mixing

A. I’m still going with The Hobbit.

T.  Well, The Hobbit was my pick for sound editing, so I’m going with Lone Survivor.

Visual Effects

A. I’m going with Iron Man 3.  Three words, “House Party Protocol.”

T. I think at this point I’ve forgotten to pick things that I think will win and am now picking movies that I hope will win.  I hope Iron Man 3 gets SOMETHING from the Oscars, so let’s go with that one.

House Party Protocol.

House Party Protocol.

Writing (adapted screenplay)

A. Before Midnight.  I didn’t see it, but Richard Linklater did a fantastic job with A Scanner Darkly.

T.  The Wolf of Wall Street, because I think this is the only award they can give that movie without any fear that Martin Scorsese might appear to have been awarded in any way whatsoever.

Writing (original screenplay)

A.  American Hustle.

T.  I considered Blue Jasmine because of Woody Allen, but the Awards love to encourage indie films in this category and the closest thing to indie that has been nominated is Her.

**The Academy Awards will air on March 2, so stay tuned and see who wins our little Oscar pool (and the comentary that will ensue).

1 Comment

Filed under Andrew Hales, Geek Life, Movies